change.

change : verb (used without object)

• to become different: Overnight the nation's mood changed.
• to become altered or modified: Colors change if they are exposed to the sun.

i hate change, not like the seasons changing, but when a person has to adapt or alter or become different for whatever reason.  i have never been good with change and am not sure how one person copes with change, especially when there is more than one change occurring at the same time.  i understand that in life there are a lot of changes and life continues on, but sometimes it is helpful to b*tch about it.  i am the type of person that does not immediately share my life story with people, unless i know that the person or people that i am telling are genuine.  i have been knocked around one too many times to not have a wall up.  nor do i really share my exact emotions all the time.  and that is probably half of my problem--bottling everything up.  however, that is a big reason i loved writing in a journal (and now enjoy a blog or two every once in a while).

but back to change... for one, being pregnant is a huge change.  i do not care if you love being pregnant or do not enjoy being pregnant, it is a change.  you, yourself is changing while your body is going through a million changes, your mindset has to change, and you have a significant other that has no clue about these changes (that might be the hardest one to deal with!)  your routine changes, your mood changes (a lot!), and if you get "pregnancy brain", holy hannah, it really can make you crazy!  and to add more change on top of all of that...no thank you!


unfortunately though, it has happened in our house.  tim has been working hard and it has shown because when something comes up in the company, his name comes up.  granted he is in a way an extra body since he does not have a 'permanent' spot yet and still in the process of finishing his program, but i know many people are impressed with the work he has done with many of his projects.  so, when there merger with BCT was going to go through, they needed some employees to go down to montrose and help out.  tim was asked to manage the branch, which would be for about a month, but i mentioned to him that he should ask if he can do three months there since he has to do three months worth of in-branch service before the end of his program.  they said he could, so he is now working down in montrose getting to know what it will be like to be a manager.  when i first heard about all of this, i was super pumped for him and the opportunity that he is being given, but on the other hand, montrose is a forty minute drive.  eww!  and knowing that banks do not close early, i could only imagine what time he would be getting home most nights.

insert: change.  ugh!  unlike pregnancy where it affects one person (or seems like it ;)), tim's temporary position would affect two people (and ava-dog!).  he has to get used to a new position, a new commute, different hours, more responsibilities at work, and i have to hold down the fort (which i have not had much energy or motivation to do since november).  i was afraid the house would fall apart and i would go down with it.

how has it been going?  after about a month, we are starting to get used to the new schedule and beginning to realize it isn't always peaches and cream [ :) ] and there may be some nights where tim doesn't get home until 8 or later.  the first week of the merge was crazy for me, i do not want to know how tim felt.  he did not get home one night until after 2:00 AM!  not okay.  there are many nights where i have dinner by myself, have some awesome conversations with ava and diego, and try to keep the house and school work in check.  our nights seem to fly by, it is as if we walk in the door from work, eat dinner, watch tv for an hour, and then go to bed.  our weeks go by and our weekends go by even faster--and it is tough as we really need to start moving on getting ready for the baby.  we cannot put everything on hold while we adapt to this new change...we just wish, like everyone else, there was more time in the day and a little extra energy.

...this post has been a work in progress all week, as ava-dog has me preoccupied when i get home from work.  she does not let me sit and think for more than ten minutes at a time, and she has recently learned to jump the baby gate and now goes upstairs :)  so this is the long and short version of what has been going on.  it is a lot, and when not everyone is understanding or i do not have someone to vent about it to, it makes me miss home and my lovely lady friends that much more <3

xoxo!

(and it could be the hormones that make everything seem ten times bigger than they are...)