time, life, stress, realizations...

i started this blog because i like to write--i have always been one to put thoughts on paper, would rather have disagreements or conversations via email because i could get all of my thoughts OUT and sorted. i am a clam when people try to have discussions or important conversations with me--partly i need time--like at school, "think time", but not everyone is a teacher and understands that...

but then the blog started to be a highlight of life before and during the first handful of months when stella was born. and it became a struggle. between working and giving my all (since i was working and missing time with her) to stella, it was more of a chore. so it stopped. i didn't find the time and i had forgotten why i started it in the first place. when stella was napping, my time went to cleaning the house, school work or just taking a minute to myself.

i would like to try to change all of this. i have been trying to change my mindset--be more positive, let things go, make more time to do things i love because as much as i want to spend all of my free time with my family when we have the chance, they need all of me. and in the past few months with a transition to a new position, i am finally seeing how i affect my whole family. it isn't just me that is affected, it is everyone. and it is not fair to them. i have let the stress of the job get the best of me--and partly because i have no outlets. only a select few really know how life has been. because truly, when you send someone a text, are you ready for them to pour your heart out in the middle of the day? or are they going to give you the answers you want to hear? my husband is not a teacher,  but he has been by my side since day 1 at this job and it has been over five years now--he has heard about the bites, the hitting + kicking, the parents, the SYSTEM (ugh!), you name it... so when i'm having a shitty day at work, i turn to my teacher friends. but who wants to hear me bitch all of the time? so i clam up. and i stress. and eat. and stress. and eat.

so as i walk on the treadmill this morning (because my day is pushed back a bit with an all day seminar, i actually have TIME, uninterrupted TIME!), get a solid walk in, i have found a little happiness in the day already--my blog. i've never been one for an audience with this blog, it is nice to have a few readers, but it is more of an outlet. plus, i have a coworker who strongly believes (+ loves) my writing! she has commented on a few status' on fb, which i hardly go on anymore, that i should write. which always makes me think of my blog...

i'm not going to tell myself i'm back, but i hope to find time to do this more often. maybe instead of eating, blog about my days+my stresses. maybe this is my outlet.

cheers--xo!

*disclaimer--there are many people that have been there for me and have heard some crazy stories, you do not go unnoticed. i know i only gave a shout to my husband and teacher friends, but they are not all. [MOM!] love you all + thank you--i appreciate your time, ears for listening and your words for trying to keep me uplifted. xo!

movin' + groovin'!

with the help of mr. wonderful, here is stella's video of her rolling over!

[february 18, 2013--the correct date]

so cool, right?! if you couldn't tell in the video, i freaked out when i saw her do it the first time but tried to put the breaks on as timmer was on a work call and i didn't want to wake the monster too much as she was supposed to be taking a nap. oh well!

she is also moving around in her crib, a lot. one minute i see her face in the monitor and a few minutes later all i see is her big 'ole noggin. i know if i watched her like a hawk, she wouldn't move, but as soon as i try to grab a few extra winks of sleep, she's gone.

completely turned and all the way down at the other end of the crib...

ha! stuck in the corner.

cannot wait to see what she does next!  xoxo!

six months of stella!

we have seen stella grow+change in six short [but QUICK!] months...

check it out!

stella margaret : just a few hours old.

one month : still getting used to all that is around her.

two months : keeping her head up, but needing support to sit.

and beginning to fill out!

three months : chunky monkey! 

four months : big smiles for daddy.

+ starting foooooood!

five months : not sitting for too long anymore, ready to move!
sitting up with support.

six months : the first picture says it all...

no longer needing support to sit,

has found her toes,

laughing, ticklish,

two teeth bottom teeth began pushing their way through,

babbling, but really she is the raspberry queen!

+

stella rolled over from tummy to belly!!

[will upload video as soon as i get it on the computer :)]

look at my pearly-whites!

mommy even caught me in mid-raspberry! <3

we look forward to the next six months which will continue to be filled with more changes+more "firsts" for stella and us [and go by just as QUICK!]...

xoxo.

september + october 2012 happenings.

stella + i started september off with a road trip to albany--i hadn't been home since my baby shower and i was eager to show off stella, as well as see family and just simply be home <3

*we stopped at taryn + sean's on the way up the northway.  i didn't take out my camera, though! wa waa.

stella, all set and ready for the ride! (one month old!)

riley's tree fort, sandbox, and swing set.

next summer she will have to share with her brother + cousin!

this makes me miss home...

riley checking out stella,

and stella checking out riley + GMA.

kate stopped by to meet stella!

uncle scoot meeting stella!

too much excitement for a little lady.

riley in her sandbox.

riley + uncle scoot.  before she told us, "go away."  hahaa!

"kisses for stella."

riley holding stella, with auntie colleen's assistance.

she LOVED it! <3

clint, colleen, riley, little man frosch, scott, me, stella...

(just missing tim!) <3

it was such a fun trip home, especially having the chance for riley to meet stella.  she was mucho curious about her, helped rock her, gave her kisses...i cannot wait to see how she responds to stella each time we come home!

once stella and i got back from albany, it was time to prepare for daddy's THIRTIETH birthday!  i had thought about throwing a surprise party, but with a newborn, i could not commit.  however, my parents came for the weekend, we went out to dinner, opened gifts, and invited some friends to watch the football games on sunday.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TIMMY!  WE LOVE YOU!

timmy with his goods.  

[not pictured up close, a salt dough handprint plaque of my hand and stella's.]

i decorated the whole downstairs!  just a peek at the table.

thumbs up for 30.

[and GMA enjoying stella time :)]

too tired to party ;)

some random pictures from september--mostly to capture an outfit or two that i loved or different things that stella was doing.

stella+ava

thomas and stella--just about a month a part!

checking out allie's piano toy--i loved it!

love.love.love. <3

at the beginning of october, we traveled back to albany for GMA's birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

stella + uncle scoot

story time with auntie beth!

nursery rhymes with uncle tim!

peek-a-boo!

who is that?

apple picking!

dan+cam, tim+stella

<3

"life of the party" <3

stella loved henrietta the hippo

she would sit in her bouncer trying to grab it as it hung from the chandelier.

halloween week!

ha ha ha, PUMPKIN!

sleeping through the halloween parade in downtown binghamton.

lindsay+allie!

allie+stella ...two weeks + one day a part <3

mommy's little tigger! <3

stay tuned for more happenings from stella's first six months... [hopefully i can get caught up before she turns one! ;)] xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo mucho, thanks for reading!