feeling the love.

i wanted to show some of the things stella has received already.  it is wonderful to know that she is so loved already, and not only from our families, but from my kiddies at school <3

my mom and dad got stella this cute little outfit.

similar to the outfit we got for the reveal, but it has monkeys on it. 

the onsie has polka dots and comes with pants that have...

 ...little monkey-face feetsss!

 and there was also a long-sleeved sleeper!

that was not all...i dug down into the bag and pulled out this cute little number!

i couldn't get over the little onsie tank-top!  it has pink little (i keep saying "little" because everything is so little!) hearts and a pair of shorts and a shirt that says,

"I <3 mommy" (sigh!)  

thank you mom and dad or i should say, gma and gpa!

stella received this outfit from one of my kids at school!

his mom says he talks about Miss Beth's baby all the time!

this is more for me than it is for stella, but aunt colleen uncle clint and riley got these fun stickers for each month of stella's first year.  ava wanted to see what they were all about, too!

 aunt colleen, uncle clint, and riley also got stella a onsie.

i fell in love as soon as i opened the package!  i cannot wait until she is here so i can put it on her!

thank you so much aunt colleen, uncle clint, and riley!

 ...and this is proof of ava loving the upstairs.

she wouldn't look at the camera, she was too anxious to sniff around!

thank you again for the beautiful gifts for stella!  we are as anxious as you are to meet her :)

xoxo!

change.

change : verb (used without object)

• to become different: Overnight the nation's mood changed.
• to become altered or modified: Colors change if they are exposed to the sun.

i hate change, not like the seasons changing, but when a person has to adapt or alter or become different for whatever reason.  i have never been good with change and am not sure how one person copes with change, especially when there is more than one change occurring at the same time.  i understand that in life there are a lot of changes and life continues on, but sometimes it is helpful to b*tch about it.  i am the type of person that does not immediately share my life story with people, unless i know that the person or people that i am telling are genuine.  i have been knocked around one too many times to not have a wall up.  nor do i really share my exact emotions all the time.  and that is probably half of my problem--bottling everything up.  however, that is a big reason i loved writing in a journal (and now enjoy a blog or two every once in a while).

but back to change... for one, being pregnant is a huge change.  i do not care if you love being pregnant or do not enjoy being pregnant, it is a change.  you, yourself is changing while your body is going through a million changes, your mindset has to change, and you have a significant other that has no clue about these changes (that might be the hardest one to deal with!)  your routine changes, your mood changes (a lot!), and if you get "pregnancy brain", holy hannah, it really can make you crazy!  and to add more change on top of all of that...no thank you!


unfortunately though, it has happened in our house.  tim has been working hard and it has shown because when something comes up in the company, his name comes up.  granted he is in a way an extra body since he does not have a 'permanent' spot yet and still in the process of finishing his program, but i know many people are impressed with the work he has done with many of his projects.  so, when there merger with BCT was going to go through, they needed some employees to go down to montrose and help out.  tim was asked to manage the branch, which would be for about a month, but i mentioned to him that he should ask if he can do three months there since he has to do three months worth of in-branch service before the end of his program.  they said he could, so he is now working down in montrose getting to know what it will be like to be a manager.  when i first heard about all of this, i was super pumped for him and the opportunity that he is being given, but on the other hand, montrose is a forty minute drive.  eww!  and knowing that banks do not close early, i could only imagine what time he would be getting home most nights.

insert: change.  ugh!  unlike pregnancy where it affects one person (or seems like it ;)), tim's temporary position would affect two people (and ava-dog!).  he has to get used to a new position, a new commute, different hours, more responsibilities at work, and i have to hold down the fort (which i have not had much energy or motivation to do since november).  i was afraid the house would fall apart and i would go down with it.

how has it been going?  after about a month, we are starting to get used to the new schedule and beginning to realize it isn't always peaches and cream [ :) ] and there may be some nights where tim doesn't get home until 8 or later.  the first week of the merge was crazy for me, i do not want to know how tim felt.  he did not get home one night until after 2:00 AM!  not okay.  there are many nights where i have dinner by myself, have some awesome conversations with ava and diego, and try to keep the house and school work in check.  our nights seem to fly by, it is as if we walk in the door from work, eat dinner, watch tv for an hour, and then go to bed.  our weeks go by and our weekends go by even faster--and it is tough as we really need to start moving on getting ready for the baby.  we cannot put everything on hold while we adapt to this new change...we just wish, like everyone else, there was more time in the day and a little extra energy.

...this post has been a work in progress all week, as ava-dog has me preoccupied when i get home from work.  she does not let me sit and think for more than ten minutes at a time, and she has recently learned to jump the baby gate and now goes upstairs :)  so this is the long and short version of what has been going on.  it is a lot, and when not everyone is understanding or i do not have someone to vent about it to, it makes me miss home and my lovely lady friends that much more <3

xoxo!

(and it could be the hormones that make everything seem ten times bigger than they are...)

twenty and twenty-one weeks.

last week marked twenty weeks (phew!) but i was in albany for a conference so the picture was pushed back a few days.  we ended up taking the picture monday morning and as you can tell, i was running late for work...which happens a little too often these days.

twenty weeks!

baby news:  little lady is weighing about 10 1/2 ounces and is around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel -- the length of a banana!

cravings:  still that delicious sub sandwich, mmmmm!

movements:  yes!  so weird and so cool at the same time.  it is very sparatic, but i am starting to feel her kick or punch.  tim has not had the chance to feel her it yet since her movements are random, but hopefully in the next couple of weeks he will be able to!

i cannot believe that we are half way through.  it does not seem like it is moving along that fast, but when you turn twenty-one weeks into five months, then it seems like, ahhhh! we don't have that much more time until she is here!  (insert mini panic attack!)

here we are at twenty-one weeks!  someone told me the other day, "you look how i looked when i was eight months pregnant."  i was not sure if this was a compliment or not, ugh.

 twenty-one weeks!

baby news:  little lady is weighing about three-quarters of a pound is about the length of a carrot -- 10 1/2 inches long.

cravings:  have not forgotten about that sub!

movements:  i was able to tell dr. L at my appointment on thursday that i am feeling movement!  her movements are still random, but i am noticing that in the evening she is pretty active.  we will see if it stays that way :)

ultrasound update:  while at my appointment on thursday with dr. L, we heard little lady's heart beat, which still sounds good and then went over my blood test results.  all three tests came back with very low percentages for down syndrome, trisomy 18, and one other birth defect that i cannot remember.  good news!  then dr. L told me that the ultrasound we had at week nineteen showed (he said what sounded like some big word) cysts on the area of her brain.  he said it is nothing to worry about and that we will do an ultrasound with the next appointment i have with him to see the status of them then.  

in my head i heard, "big words, cysts, nothing to worry about, we will schedule the next visit".  i am awful at asking questions, but dr. L is very laid back and has been reassuring from the beginning, even before little lady was in the picture when i was going through some stuff.  so i really did not think twice about it, and told myself i would ask more questions at the next visit if they are still there, and assuming he would give more information about them then, too.

i called my mom to update her, and she was not too thrilled that i did not ask any questions nor did i write down the 'big word' so that i could look it up when i got home.  however, i hate to do that (the looking it up online part!)  so once i got off the phone with her, i googled "what can doctors find on an ultrasound in a baby's brain?"  a few threads came up that sounded like what dr. L was talking about -- CPC, Choroid Plexus Cyst.  it is the only thing that sounded like what was seen on the ultrasound.  i found this information at babyzone.com: http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/prenatal-care/choroid-plexus-cyst_71106  *and that is why i do not like to look anything up.  i would much rather panic when dr. L says "worry about it" instead of spending the next month worrying about it.

...so here is to hoping that little lady stella has a super clear ultrasound at the end of april to help settle a couple of nervous ladies.  xoxo!

what's in a name?

i am pumped we have this part of the baby process done because i know it can be a tough decision.  tim and i have had our names picked out since we lived in albany--we weren't living together at the time, and we weren't engaged, yet over three years ago we agreed on names.  i guess that was a sign!

luckily i have not had a child in my classroom, nor have i heard the names from other teachers since we decided on them, otherwise they would have to go!  we owe a lot of credit to a couple of tim's co-workers at SEFCU -- one of the women had a son and as soon as tim heard his name, he could not let go of it.  the other woman had a daughter and that was a contender, but helped us find the one we really liked. so, thank you--and we hope we can one day use our baby boy's name :)

our little lady will be:  stella margaret  -- it started out kendall, but we were not sold on it and soon came to stella and loved it.  i knew that i wanted to use my grandmother's name, but only if my sister did not use her name for her daughter--i did not want to step on anyones toes.  so when riley was born and margaret was not being used, i scooped it right up!

our little man, that we will hopefully have one day, will be:  parker edward (sigh!)  i have been walking around for the past four and a half months saying and thinking parker, that when i type it and think about it now, i am honestly sad.  parker is the name that tim liked when he heard it from his co-worker and edward is his grandfather's name.  everyone says "one baby at a time", but i cannot help but want a baby boy next.  four and a half months is a long time to have ones mind set on something.  i am not set and situated with the fact we are having a girl yet, which makes me feel guilty for the little one growing inside me (ahh, these hormones!  too many emotions right now!)...i hope with four months left, i will get there before she arrives...

the third reveal!

our most recent ultrasound was this past thursday, exactly nineteen weeks.  we were very excited!  but i was also nervous (of course), because at this appointment we would be able to find out if we are having a boy or a girl--if baby cooperated.  if you have read the blog before, i have had it in my mind that i am going to have a boy and tim thinks the opposite (most likely so he can say, "i was right!"), a girl.  i really have not considered that it is a girl, but always wished it would be because i love pink!  so i have been thinking, thinking, thinking, saying our boys name, and looking at boy things as i secretly peeped all the pink things.  i could not wait to find out, though.  we would finally be able to really start shopping!

here is my nineteen week picture...the belly is getting b-i-g!

so la de da, we both made it through the work day and made it to the appointment safely.  i was super nervous, but ready to find out!  the lady that did our ultrasound has been doing her job for 20 something years and all of that reassuring chit-chat, but when she told us what we were having, i could not believe her!  she said that we are having a baby girl!!!!!!!!!!  i said, "are you sure??????????"  i could not believe it!  we watched baby girl moving around, kicking, putting her hands in the air, and all i wanted to see is what would it look like if it were a baby boy!  i  needed a comparison to ease my mind, so i asked, "if it was a boy, we would see something sticking up?"  ahahaha, seriously!  she said yes, but i still could not believe it.  she printed us out a handful of pictures and we were on our way.  as soon as we stepped out of the office, i turned to tim and said, "i do not believe her."

to help digest the news and celebrate, we drove over to babies r us and looked for a little lady's outfit--so much to look at and decide on!  when we got home, i took a picture of the outfit and then emailed it to our families -- as soon as we emailed to one set of parents, we called them and told them to check their emails.  we did this for all our families and friends--this was the easiest way as we could not get our parents together and tell them at the same time.  we tried to plan that out, but it was not working with everyone's schedules, but it was better the way we did it because we could not wait to tell everyone!

here is the picture we sent out...

everyone is excited for us and we all cannot wait to meet the little lady when she decides to make her debut! :)

*thank you for all your well wishes as we take on this next adventure in our lives!  we appreciate all the love and support we have behind us and for our daughter!

xoxo!

"you should name your baby..."

are you ready to read these?  i do not know where they come up with these, but maybe this is why there are some very interesting names out there these days ;)

there should be more on there because each day at least one child comes up to me and says, "you should name your baby..."  :)  i am not sure which one is my favorite or if we would use any of them, but i told the children that i would tell mr. tim their ideas to see if he likes any of them.

which one is your favorite?

xoxo!

eighteen weeks!

thursday marked the eighteenth week = one more week until our next ultrasound

and two more weeks until we are half way there! (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!)

eighteen weeks!

baby news:  s/he weighs almost 7 ounces and is about 5 1/2 inches long head to bottom (like a sweet potato or bell pepper).

cravings:  i really, really, really, really want a nice, big healthy sandwich with lunchmeat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner!  if i could have one, this is what i would have...

on a wegman's everything sub
yellow mustard
provolone cheese
salami or turkey [or both?  i really, really, really, really miss sandwich meat!]
lettuce
tomato
onion
pickles
wegman's sub sauce

[it is 9:50 am on sunday, and if i could, i would go out and get one now.  that's how good it sounds!]

this has not been an easy task to stay away from.  at home, it is pretty easy because i can find other things to occupy myself with [chips!], but at school...it seems as though we have turkey-ham or turkey every other day!  it is such a tease!!!!  and the turkey always looks so yummy... [sigh].

movements:  like last week, i think i may feel something, but i have no idea.  i am getting anxious to start feeling something, however i did "call dinosaurs" friday morning, so that is a good sign baby is still in there ;)  one thing i have noticed [i have noticed this before but never wrote about it], i can feel the baby's heartbeat.  it was weird at first because i could not tell if it was just my heartbeat because it seemed to beat along with mine, but every morning before i wake up i feel my belly and can feel the heartbeat.  i may ask dr. l if this is really something i am feeling or if it is like when you cut yourself and you can feel your heartbeat in your finger.

---------------------------------------------------------------

here is a picture from last weekend that i forgot to put with clint's party...

i love my sister!  i hope all the baby weight i add on, goes away just like hers!

xoxo!

the second reveal!

i have been waiting for this day, but was never sure when it would all go down.  all of our family and friends know about the baby, as well as most of our coworkers, but who still needs to know?  the crazy children of classroom 200, that's who!

[*a little side story before i share the silliness :)
we do not celebrate valentine's day where i work, so i thought i would wear a shirt that may spark some interest.  maybe just a little interest?  a few questions about what is on my shirt?  i mean, they are always unbuttoning/unzipping their jackets before they get in the classroom to show off their new clothes...maybe that's what i should have done because my shirt got no attention!  hahaha!]

here is the shirt!  it says "baby", "bambino", and "bebe". 

i thought they may ask about the letters and we would try to spell the words, but nope, nothing! 

(*this is my sister's shirt, she is letting me borrow all of her maternity clothes.

since we broke the news i couldn't wait to fit into it.  we both love it!  thanks again, colleen!)

back to present day...

this past week seemed to be the perfect time to tell the children; it was dr. seuss's birthday on friday, so we would be focusing on his work, not our hammer-it-home ERF program, and we ended up having an early dismissal and a two-hour delay!  so it was a nutty week which = perfect filler time!  also, coworkers were starting to notice that my belly has "popped" and with a few goings on in the classroom the past couple of weeks, the news had to be shared.  i wanted to break the news in a fun way though, not just announce it.  so during our Circle time after lunch on Monday, i wrote a message on our chart paper.  "Miss Beth has some news.  What do you think it is?"  Check out their thoughts!  

we just finished a project on The Jungle Book so animals are very fresh on their minds...can you tell? haha!

once the last child that was in class told us his idea, i said, "my news is that i am going to have a baby!"  i wish that i could have snapped their photo as soon as they processed the news--it was hilarious and i would have loved to share it with all of you.  a couple of girls started a chant, some clapped, and the rest stared at me with their mouths wide open...stunned or confused.  ahhahaa, it was great!  then their hands went up in their air telling me what i should name the baby, and asked questions like, "so you have a baby in your belly?"

as soon as they calmed down, my assistant teacher brought up the most important part--how they have to be gentle towards me.  this was one of my main reasons for wanting to tell them besides the obvious of the fact that i am going to have a baby.  i would really like to use this as a good lesson for the children--we have some rough and tough boys and girls that need to learn the meaning of "being gentle", so i am hoping the more we can talk about the baby, the more we can emphasize and show how to care for a younger sibling or a pregnant mom.  there are so many teachable moments, i could not pass this one up!

and since they were so eager to shout out names on monday, i had to make sure we wrote their ideas down before the end of the week.  so yesterday, they told me a name they thought i should name the baby.  wait until you see those!! :)

xoxo!